Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all who happen to read
this.
I know that I have been neglecting my blog, but since Mono
left my system and my energy came back, it has been nonstop! After being home
sick for three weeks, I slowly reintegrated myself at work, took a trip to
Nicaragua for Thanksgiving and then barely had time to breath before heading
off to Trinidad for Christmas.
I have been asked multiple times “Was Trinidad everything that you hoped for?” I can’t even begin to answer that question! I was a flood of emotions leading up to my trip and had no idea what I hoped for. I was anxious about going back. I kept thinking what if it was too soon; maybe I had not had enough time to process. I thought maybe I had missed Trinidad so much I began to romanticize how I felt about it. Well, I was right to think that something had changed and honestly the trip was not how I'd expected it to be at all.
I have been asked multiple times “Was Trinidad everything that you hoped for?” I can’t even begin to answer that question! I was a flood of emotions leading up to my trip and had no idea what I hoped for. I was anxious about going back. I kept thinking what if it was too soon; maybe I had not had enough time to process. I thought maybe I had missed Trinidad so much I began to romanticize how I felt about it. Well, I was right to think that something had changed and honestly the trip was not how I'd expected it to be at all.
I was right to expect it to be different because I, had in fact, changed in the four months I was gone. Although, my time in Costa Rica has not been easy, it has been a time of growth. While I’m still very strongly extroverted, I have had to learn
new ways of processing. My understanding of service has stretched and grown as
I navigate my way through my work site. My understanding of community life has
changed as I have lived my first few months with my Costa Rican housemates. The space from my previous experience in Trinidad had
given me a chance to process what exactly had touched me so deeply.
That being said, despite having been to Trinidad and having
processed a little bit of my experience, I was no more prepared for this experience than the first time. I remember packing and realizing I had no clue
what to pack because all I knew was that we had a lot of work to do! Needless
to say this trip was full of surprises and blessings.
The first surprise was finding out that “early morning” no longer meant 5:30 prayer in the chapel. For the week leading up to Christmas, early meant getting to the center at 4:30am to make breakfast before Aurora mass. Those Aurora Masses became one of the greatest parts of my Advent journey. Sitting in a dark chapel with only candles lighting the altar, looking onto the Laventille hills, and watching the sun rise over them as the Eucharist is consecrated before us. The insane symbolism of walking into a dark room, not knowing who was sitting beside you yet feeling a strong sense of community and safety and the symbolism of the sun rising and light coming to the chapel as the Light of the World becomes present in a physical way on the altar before us. That is powerful. It was a beautiful way to clear out the distraction that liturgy can bring along with it - especially for someone who is passionate about studying the liturgy – and recognize the Christ that came before me.
That was the beauty of Advent for me – removing the distraction and noise. For the first time, I truly celebrated Christmas. Being so far away from what I had always associated with Christmas was surreal. Instead of praying for snow and a “White Christmas”, I was seeing palm trees and sweating from the humidity. Instead of shopping for gifts, I was preparing goodie bags and food hampers for poor families. Instead of gathering with my friends and family to celebrate, I was gathering with my community to pray and to work. Without all of the distractions of what Christmas has become, my Advent journey became about one thing – focusing on opening my heart and preparing for the birth of the King of Kings. I can’t even begin to explain how blessed and wonderful that time was.
Another surprise, and blessing, was that even though I’d been gone for three months, it felt as though I had never left. It was amazing to be back with a community that I love and watch them live out their mission to serve joyfully. On Christmas Day, community members gather together to prepare and serve a lunch for 2500 people. It was amazing to watch everyone work to make such a big event happen on a day. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t just watching, I was able to help hand out gifts to all of the children that came through. :) I also got to spend time with the community outside of work and prayer, being part of the Boxing Day and Old Year’s festivities was also a great time. For a community that knows how to work, Living Water Community also knows how to have a good time! They truly have become a second family to me.
Many of you know that I could go on (and on and on) about Trinidad … so be warned if you choose to ask me in the future how my trip was. While it was a strange Christmas away from home, it could not have been blessed with greater people. To my Trini family who reads this, I’m so grateful for you welcoming me back with such love and allowing me to be part of that special time. I already miss you and cannot wait to come back. To my family and friends at home, I missed you and you all were in my prayers every day I was gone, but I’m so grateful for your support this last year. With 5 different trips, it was a big year and I couldn’t have done it without your encouragement and prayers. I cannot wait to see you all again as well!
The first surprise was finding out that “early morning” no longer meant 5:30 prayer in the chapel. For the week leading up to Christmas, early meant getting to the center at 4:30am to make breakfast before Aurora mass. Those Aurora Masses became one of the greatest parts of my Advent journey. Sitting in a dark chapel with only candles lighting the altar, looking onto the Laventille hills, and watching the sun rise over them as the Eucharist is consecrated before us. The insane symbolism of walking into a dark room, not knowing who was sitting beside you yet feeling a strong sense of community and safety and the symbolism of the sun rising and light coming to the chapel as the Light of the World becomes present in a physical way on the altar before us. That is powerful. It was a beautiful way to clear out the distraction that liturgy can bring along with it - especially for someone who is passionate about studying the liturgy – and recognize the Christ that came before me.
That was the beauty of Advent for me – removing the distraction and noise. For the first time, I truly celebrated Christmas. Being so far away from what I had always associated with Christmas was surreal. Instead of praying for snow and a “White Christmas”, I was seeing palm trees and sweating from the humidity. Instead of shopping for gifts, I was preparing goodie bags and food hampers for poor families. Instead of gathering with my friends and family to celebrate, I was gathering with my community to pray and to work. Without all of the distractions of what Christmas has become, my Advent journey became about one thing – focusing on opening my heart and preparing for the birth of the King of Kings. I can’t even begin to explain how blessed and wonderful that time was.
Another surprise, and blessing, was that even though I’d been gone for three months, it felt as though I had never left. It was amazing to be back with a community that I love and watch them live out their mission to serve joyfully. On Christmas Day, community members gather together to prepare and serve a lunch for 2500 people. It was amazing to watch everyone work to make such a big event happen on a day. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t just watching, I was able to help hand out gifts to all of the children that came through. :) I also got to spend time with the community outside of work and prayer, being part of the Boxing Day and Old Year’s festivities was also a great time. For a community that knows how to work, Living Water Community also knows how to have a good time! They truly have become a second family to me.
Many of you know that I could go on (and on and on) about Trinidad … so be warned if you choose to ask me in the future how my trip was. While it was a strange Christmas away from home, it could not have been blessed with greater people. To my Trini family who reads this, I’m so grateful for you welcoming me back with such love and allowing me to be part of that special time. I already miss you and cannot wait to come back. To my family and friends at home, I missed you and you all were in my prayers every day I was gone, but I’m so grateful for your support this last year. With 5 different trips, it was a big year and I couldn’t have done it without your encouragement and prayers. I cannot wait to see you all again as well!
Blessed, blessed New Year!
Cassie... read this a few times.. love your sharing.. was good sharing time with you giving out the extra lunches on Christmas Day
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