Simplicity of Joy and the Beauty of Saying Goodbye

 I have learned that giving pieces of your heart away never limits how much you can love, but instead increases it. The pain that you feel is not heart break; it’s what happens when your heart is full.

I don’t often talk about my daily life for work, because for me it is rather … well, daily. But this week, as I refocused my energy, the uniqueness of what I do every day was unfurled. It’s not so much that caring for babies in Costa Rica is any different than taking care of children in the U.S., but more the perspective that I brought to the job. As I refocused myself, I realized two beautiful parts of my day that I hadn’t quite tapped into before – the simple things that bring forth joy and the beauty of hellos and goodbyes.

First things first – joy. It’s amazing what can spark joy in a little child. The instant I walk into work every day, I visit the halls to say hello to all the different kids. As Lauren and I walk in, the kids yell our names and run towards us. They are joyful that their playmates have come. As I feed the kids their lunch, they smile and giggle as I make silly noises. They are joyful just because someone is taking the time to give them attention. As their moms come to pick them up for merienda, lunch and to go home, I see the kid’s faces light up as the get hugged up by their mom. They are joyful because they have hugs and love. It doesn’t matter the situation – a toy, juice, a song – these kids are joyful. It is my favorite part about going to work every morning, is just the fact that every simple thing brings a smile to their faces. I think it is also a lesson we need to learn. Joy doesn’t have to be a complicated mess of making yourself joyful. It’s as easy as looking at some things with the eyes of a child. I’m learning slowly through my work at La Posada that by celebrating the little things – baby snuggles, hugs, jokes with the moms, community – as little rays of sunshine, joy comes so much easier.

This little girl is just full of joy! The two girls in the foreground are fighting, and she's all smiles!

Now, work isn’t always a joyful affair. Girls leave La Posada for a lot of different reasons. Sometimes they get in trouble and are asked to leave, sometimes they turn 18 and leave, sometimes they are able to return to their parents. Sometimes they run away and sometimes they know they are leaving for days. People keep telling me that after so many goodbyes you get used to it. I’m not sure that’s true. I love each of these kids and their moms with everything that I have to give them, as I try to with most people, which means that every time I say goodbye a little part of my heart goes with them. That being said, we said goodbye to one of the moms and two little girls that I’m truly fond of. It was in saying goodbye that I got to truly appreciate the time I spent with those girls. They will always be in my prayers and my heart, but I truly got to appreciate the gifts that they gave me.

And in saying goodbye, there is room for more girls at Posada.  It’s hard to say goodbye, but seeing that new girls get to come is beautiful. Posada offers something unique to the girls that isn’t offered in the other homes throughout Costa Rica. They offer a place for both the mothers and their children to grow in an environment that is directly oriented to their needs. As much as I might get frustrated with my work some days, it’s amazing to keep that in mind. While some occasions when the girls leave are less then desirable, there is always the silver lining of welcoming new people. It’s a lesson I’m learning over and over, the relationship that ends when saying goodbye opens up room for new life to be given. I’ve learned that giving pieces of your heart away never limits how much you can love, but instead increases it. The pain that you feel is not heart break; it’s what happens when your heart is full.

Saying goodbye to my two girls. Love, tears and hugs

Just Because They Are

dig·ni·ty/ˈdignitē/ -- the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect

Today in Washington D.C., people from all over gather together to give voice to those whose very lives are threatened by abortion, euthanasia and the death penalty.  Even more importantly, they are marching for the recognition of something that cannot be taken away.

Dignity.

It is not something that is earned or that we as a human race can give. It is within each and every human being. Not because of who or why or how they are but just that they are. That they were created and given life. That the divine that is in you and I resides in every person. It doesn’t matter who they are – whether the person is a small but growing fetus or someone dying in a hospital or someone who committed an unthinkable crime. No matter the person, dignity is inherent. The March isn’t just about stopping something – it’s about recognizing why its worth stopping. Calling people to recognize this worth and come forth to defend it.

Though I’m not marching in D.C. this year, I march for life every day in Costa Rica. Hogar Posada de Belen (The Inn at Bethlehem) is a home for mothers, ages 13-18 years, and their children. It is a pro-life effort of the Episcopal Conference of Costa Rica to help aid mothers in choosing life. While the mothers live at the home, they also are given the opportunity to take classes, participate in extracurricular classes like dancing and music, as well as work experience like working in a restaurant or a beauty salon.

At work, we march for life every day. Like I said, dignity isn’t something you can give, but something that you can recognize and guard and that is what I feel we do with our niños. We honor their dignity by loving them with all we have to offer. Listening to their stories, telling them I love them every day (every few minutes really J ),  affirming the good they do and even correcting them when they misbehave are ways that we show them that they are worth time, effort and love. When they do something wrong and are being punished I tell them I love them but what they did was not okay, hoping that the kids learn that their worth does not lie in their actions but in just being.

But being pro-life is more than just ensuring that the baby makes it out of the womb or even just building up the children who are in these challenging situations. Limiting the pro-life to just abortion changes the entire ideology of the movement. Womb to tomb, conception to death, whatever catch phrase you’d like to use, being pro-life is about recognizing that inherent dignity in every person that you encounter – and helping to create a system that values that life as well.

 Here at Posada, the pro-life initiative doesn’t stop when the baby is born. The mothers are brought in and given the support they need so that they can leave La Posada with a way to care and provide for themselves and their children. One of the things that I love about working at La Posada is that these girls are not merely their story. While some of their stories are heart-wrenching and definitely difficult, they are so much more than that. They are loved and cared for. They are part of a community. They are listened to and given opportunities. They discover their own worth as they learn to take care of their child, they discover their gifts and talents, and as they learn to love and respect the girls they live with. I believe that we “march for life” as we sit with these girls and hear their stories, as we walk with them on their journey of motherhood and of growth. It doesn’t matter what decisions led them to walk through the door at La Posada, they are worth it. For me, this has become part of my mission – Helping the girls to realize that they are worth it. Worth a better future. Worth good and holy love. Worth waiting for. Worthy of being swept off their feet. Just because they were brought into being and created. Just because the God who resides in you and I resides in them. Just because they are.