A Call to Love; A Call to Living Water

I have been accepted to join formation with Living Water Community to become a lay consecrated missionary in Trinidad!

Whew! For those of you who have heard me talk non-stop about this community for the last two years, this may not be a surprise but the process is officially on the move. I am so excited to get started on this new journey, but I have some standing commitments in the states that I need to work through first. For those of you who haven’t heard about Living Water, let me share a little of my story with you:

When I boarded the plane to Trinidad in May of 2013, I would have told you that my summer ministry immersion with Living Water Community was going to be a great experience, but most importantly that it was preparation for all that was coming next. It was a blip on my radar in between graduating college with my Bachelor Degree in Religious Studies and my year of service with FrancisCorp in Costa Rica. Though I had been discerning religious life, the life of a lay consecrated missionary was never what I had in mind. But our God is a God of surprises.

Household members of Living Water Community ~ Chapter 2015 

From very early on in my trip, living and working with community felt natural, felt like “home”. It was over the next two months that God slowly whispered into my heart. At first, my response to that tugging was I’ve barely known this community for a month, this must just be a ‘mission trip high’ to God, you cannot possibly be calling me to this community! WE HAD A PLAN! Despite my hesitancy, I began falling in love with the spirit, prayer and people of Living Water Community.

In retrospect, I can tell you the moment when I started to truly pray about the possibility of joining household. I was working in the food bank, packing food hampers to give to our clients and singing praise music with the woman in charge. They had just been telling me that I needed to come back and help for Christmas and it hit me – my trip was going to end. My only thought was I can’t imagine this not being my every day. God had brought me to this community and had opened my heart to His call without me even knowing it! There was no turning back after that moment and over the last two years, His call to live and serve in Living Water Community has been confirmed over and over.

Not only do I believe that this community has changed and will continue to change me, I believe that God gave me gifts and talents that I can offer them. During my time with community, I have been able to use my experience and background in education and religious studies by helping with youth and children prayer meetings, as well as helping with Vacation Bible School. My background in Spanish has allowed me to work with refugees from Spanish speaking countries that come to Living Water. Each of the ministries that I have been a part of during my short visits have shown me ways that I could be of service to the community.

So, what comes next? While I was in Trinidad in May of 2015, I met with the foundress and current Director of Community – Rhonda Maingot – and expressed my desire to enter formation to become a consecrated member living in household.  I have been accepted to begin formation in September 2016!

This is where I need your help! Becoming a missionary and moving to another country presents its challenges! There are 3 ways that I could use your help- Pray, Give, Share

 Pray  – While I am so excited to begin this new journey, I know that it will not be easy. It has never been easy to leave my family and friends while traveling and add in learning to live in community and assimilating to a new culture, I can use all the prayers I can get. I also have a lot of work to do so that I am able to join community in September, so I ask that you please keep me in your prayers as I embark on this journey.

            Give - I am extremely grateful for the Catholic education I received at the University of Dayton and would never have landed where I am without my time at UD, but it has left me with student loans. To begin my formation and join community, I must be free of any financial obligation or debt, including student loans. I will be committing to communal poverty, I will not receive a salary and will rely on the community to meet my basic needs which means that I will not have the means to continue paying off debt once in community. My current debt is $96,000 in both private and federal student loans. It seems like an impossible amount, but I truly believe that God has placed it on my heart to join this community and will provide in big ways.

That being said I need your help! If you would prayerful considering

There are 3 ways that you can donate:

Online for non-family members you can go to Joy to the World Foundation to donate. This foundation is able to give you a donation receipt so you can claim your charitable donation on your taxes. This money is sent to my account with the foundation and then at the close of my account will directly be paid to my loans.

            Online for family – due to the nature of the fund above, family members are unable to receive a charitable tax deduction. If you would like to give, you can go to this gofundme.com/h686pnkk. This fund is linked directly to a separate bank account specifically for this fundraiser. It will then be disbursed to my loans on a monthly basis.

            By snail mail – if you would like to help out, but would rather meet with me personally or send your donation through snail mail, it can be sent to the following address:

                                                               

Joy to the World – Tax deductible/non-family

Joy to the World Foundation

c/o Cassandra Schemmel Benevolence Fund

5550 Tech Center Drive Suite 305

Colorado Springs CO 80919

       Share my story – If you know someone who might be interested in my story, please feel free to share it with them! I believe that this is the perfect time for sharing with young people that there are many ways to serve God, you just have to tune in to the still small voice. If you know someone who might be interested in supporting my fundraiser or a business that would like to become a sponsor, please let me know and feel free to share this blog with them!

I want to thank all of you, because without the support and prayer that you have gifted me with thus far, I would never be where I am. It is through the constant encouragement of family and friends that the little girl who used to play Mass with her siblings and stuffed animals is now moving forward to become a consecrated women serving God’s people.

Searching

I’ve started (and promptly erased) many attempts at a blog post these last few weeks. I’m not sure why I find it so hard to write to you all; I rarely run out of words. There’s so much to tell – good and difficult. I realized that I haven’t really updated at all about my life here. The last blog was more an outpouring of my heart from my work, but it wasn’t really of substance. That being said, there will be a lot more to come I’m sure. But, this is all that comes to mind right now. I hope it gives you some insight onto what this time has brought.

I’m searching…

Searching as I pace back and forth from my room, to the kitchen, to the hill, to my room again -
as I check Facebook, almost obsessively, and check my e-mail just as often

I’m think I’m searching for words,

But really I seek something different.
I’m looking for the familiar,
for the known,
for settled-ness
I’m searching for comfort.
I’m searching to know I’m capable, safe and loved.
I’m searching for…
me.

But what I’m finding is newness -
new house
new friends

new work
new kids
new music

new language.
Everything new and challenging

and I wonder if I can assimilate to it all?
Can I take it all in?
Can I adapt, change,
mutate into something that fits here -
a Gringa masquerading in the outfit of a conquistador.
Here to change the world,
be your best friend and confidant
to love and to save.

What have I found?
I’ve found that a besito can heal a wound,
trust can turn un loco into a gentleman,
teaching guitar isn’t the most important part of guitar lessons,
and taking your time brings many blessings.
I’ve found that despite all that’s new,
there is something familiar.

I’ve found me.

A gringa
struggling to speak and teach and love.
I’ve found that instead of changing the world,
I’m going to be changed by it.
I’ve found that my struggles, insecurities and questions
were packed in my suitcase.
I’ve found that I would love to be a mother,

and a Sister,

and a teacher,
and whatever else,
as long as I could show someone they are loved.
I’ve found that I haven’t learned it all and I never will.
I’ve found that I will change, adapt and grow in the face of challenge.
I’ve found that God will always be faithful

and goodbyes will always be hard.
I’ve found God in all those things above.
As a counselor,

A friend,
A confidant,
A source of strength,
as my Beloved.

But most importantly, I’ve found that there will always be love.

Life's Little Lessons

Here’s for the important stuff. You know, the reason you all helped me out? I’m hoping to share a little bit about my life here in Costa Rica, but most importantly the work that I will be doing. Instead of doing this in the biggest blog post ever, I’m going to introduce my life through the little lessons that I learned.

Life’s Little Lessons: Living in Another Country

1.  There are many different dialects in the Spanish language – Ten cuidad!! Watch out, because you can say something that you don’t mean to and it can be very bad. Here’s a pretty hilarious video that explains what I mean:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LjDe4sLER0&feature=youtu.be&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4LjDe4sLER0&nomobile=1
2. It rains – a lot. I don’t just mean there are a lot of little showers. There are a lot of torrential downpours with big booming lighting. It’s beautiful and a little nerve-wracking at the same time. Running (or in my case attempting to run) up a street – that has many potholes –with ankle deep amounts of water while soaked is quite an adventure.
3.  Speaking of adventures – it is absolutely important to learn the bus schedule early. Standing 20 minutes in the rain after running up said street is not easier. Waiting for 45 minutes for a bus, that you think might be coming any time now, is pretty frustrating. Every single bus looks like yours … except for the one that you don’t flag down which is, in fact, your bus!
4. Don’t judge a book by its cover – I continuously learn this lesson. Our guardian Friar at first glance seems stern and a little intimidating. But then, we ate dinner with him and we realized he is HILARIOUS! We have such a great time. He also has the heart of a grandfather and is seriously making sure that we have more than we need and are taken care of.

Life’s Little Lessons: Mi Trabajo (My Work)
For those of you who do not know, I’m working at a home that serves around 100 teen mothers. These mothers are given the opportunity to work (they have a restaurant, a beauty salon and some other things they can help with) and have an education. Their children, ages 0-5, are live on the property with them and are together in daycare. I’ve only been there two days, but so far I have been helping take care of children who can walk (1.5 to 5 yrs). This is what I have learned:

1. Never say never – After changing my major from Education, I said I would never be a teacher. Well, I may be teaching music to the mothers who are forming a choir! I may be helping lead said choir. I may also be helping pick out instruments for the very same choir! How might you ask does this have anything to do with daycare, well …
2. Be careful what you PRAY for – I’ve always been worried that I wouldn’t keep up with my music and that there would always be better musicians than myself who could do a much better job. Well, I prayed that God would find a way to let me use my music. When we arrived at Posada de Belen, the VP asked myself and Lauren (the other volunteer), if any of us played guitar. I hesitatingly said that I played a little. Well, it then came out that I play a few different instruments and sing … and generally know about music. That ended with the VP saying that we were God’s answers to her needs and that she was going to use all that we had to offer. This could get interesting.
3. Learning patience is good, learning confidence is necessary, learning indifference to certain bodily fluids is a miracle. I never thought I’d be looking up Spanish phrases for “Is that pee?” “This child’s diaper leaked through his pants” “Stop putting your hands in your pants” “Stop climbing on the tables” “DO NOT CHOKE THE BABY!” and many, many more phrases. I also never thought that I would be wiping pee from children’s hands and feet as they played in the puddles of pee left over from another child during nap time.

My final little lesson for you:

• Love can be quantified – I’m not saying that when a kid says “I love you this much”, he or she only loves you as much as the space that they leave between their arms. What I’m saying is that love is so physically visible. It’s palpable. When you sit down and a little girl wants nothing more than to sit on your lap and watch the world. When someone is so dedicated to their call to serve others that they are so generous they leave me speechless. When, after a long day of doing everything wrong, you tell a little boy that you are so proud of him for sharing his book and doing something good that he smiles so big and then runs into your arms. That’s love. Tangible, breathable, over-the-top, love. 

It's not "Goodbye", its "See you Later"

I’m sitting on my bed here in the house I’ve called home for the last two months in a situations that’s become all too familiar. Sitting on my bed, looking out at my things scattered around, wondering just how the heck I’m going to fit it all in my limited space … and even more importantly, how I’m going to get on that plane and say goodbye.

 In just a year and a half I’ve visited six different countries and graduated from UD. That’s a lot of hello and goodbyes. For the more significant visits, when I went to say goodbye, there was something that was holding me back from going forward. In Italy, it was a fear of what was coming my way and saying goodbye to the laid-back lifestyle I had into a time of personal discovery and development. In El Salvador, I felt the call to mission – to allow Christ to use me as His vessel to bring peace and love to the world. From UD, there was a fear of leaving what was familiar and settled for the unknown ahead but an excitement of all that my future held.

Preparing to leave Trinidad is no different in the fact that I don’t want to leave. That doesn’t mean I don’t love and miss my family, I do! But my heart isn’t ready to leave. Unlike the other goodbyes, I haven’t quite discerned out why it is so hard to leave a place that I’ve spent two months to go to a place where I’ve spent most of my 22 years. I think it will take some time away to figure out what hold this country and this community have on my heart, but there are plenty of reasons that come to mind. I’ll share snippets and hopefully I can catch some of you before I’m off to the next adventure and “home” to share more reflection.

God & Prayer: To say that God showed up seems woefully inadequate and inaccurate. He moves and makes Himself known on a daily basis in my life. To say that God showed off on this trip is a little more accurate, but it wasn’t because He performed miracles or because I had some extreme conversion of heart. It was in the quiet and slow way that He pervaded my days. Just some of the ways that our relationship changed:

• Praying the Liturgy of the Hours daily: This helped me delve into some of the scriptures that I might not have read on my own and to really enter into praying as (and for) community
• Anointing my day in prayer: truly the only reason I could wake up in the mornings and go do ministry J
• Quiet: this was a struggle for sure, but even the small amounts of time I was able to be quiet with God showed me how faithful God is and that I really need to stop doing prayer right
•  Laying of hands for Life in the Spirit: This was truly a confirmation of all the ways that God was speaking to me in the quiet that I was hesitant or questioning.

Community: Even though I never got to the post about the type of community I’ve been living with, I’ll share the joys of living in community. For the past two months, I’ve been living in community with consecrated lay women and one priest. They make promises to live chaste, simple and obedient lives while serving in their community. To read more about them, check out this site: http://www.lwctt.org/index.php/about-us. I have so much to say about each individual that I have met in this community, but I will leave it at this.

• They challenge and love. I felt challenged in some way every day of my trip here. It wasn’t always big, maybe a reflection on my prayer life or a conversation about how games affect our understanding of reality, but it was impactful.
• They loved and supported me every step of the way, and that love is reciprocated. I truly feel like this community has become my family and will miss them so much.
• Even more important than the love and challenge that community life presented, the Holy Spirit is moving here in a profound way. I have truly been walking among saints whose powerful love for Jesus is transforming the community and those they come in contact with. I’m constantly in awe of their faith.
• Fun: It wasn’t all depth and seriousness. This community is a hoot. I remember my first dinner with all of household, welcoming those who returned from their pilgrimage in Italy and wondering how I was ever going to finish my dinner. I spent most of the meal laughing.

Ministry: Since this post is already log enough, I’ll just let you know that ministry progressed well. I’m going to miss the kids and teens that I worked with here. It was extremely hard say goodbye to the ministries that I visited and participated in while here. I’ll be thinking and praying for them (and hopefully being kept updated on what is going on … hint, hint).

Well, that was fast and a lot, but I just have to say, I’m so thankful for this opportunity. If I had to choose one word to describe my time here, it would be TRANSFORMATION. I will not be going back the same way I came, and I definitely will not forget. I felt truly alive and authentic with this community and I pray that God was able to use me in some way during my time here. Thank you Sr. Angela Ann, Living Water Community and mom and dad for allowing me such an experience. Although I’m only home for a few weeks before I head off to Costa Rica, I hope to see as many of you all as I can.

As for my new Trini family, I love you and God willing, I’ll be back as soon as I can. (In the meantime, I’ll be studying Côté ci Côté la)

Love,

Cass

What is Prayer?

So, as you all may know, I was discerning transferring to a different college. While I had many good and  attractive reasons for choosing to transfer, I decided to stay at UD. The conundrum hasn't gone away - UD still feels like home, Franciscan still has its attractions - but one word convinced me to stay. That one words is stability.
No, God didn't write "stability" in the clouds and I figured my whole future out. It came through listening. I listened to those who knew me really well, I listened to those who knew the schools well, and I listened to those who didn't quite know either, and in the end there was a consistency to what I was hearing. I need stability. Anyway, so long story short, I'm staying at UD but will be spending next semester studying abroad in Rome for 5 months. :) I feel that living in close proximity to the Vatican is a pretty good trade.

****

I've been thinking a lot about what prayer is. I found that I was putting prayer in a box. Not just any box, but a very small, cramped box. Prayer was just yearning to break out. I'll share a little snippet of revelation that God gave me. I found that prayer is beyond traditional prayers, prayers written by the Fathers of the Church, or even the prayers of the liturgy. It is so much more.

Prayer is....

stopping to appreciate the beauty of God's creation ...

using the wealth that God has provided through his creation in sustainable ways...

conversations with friends while walking together ...

spending time with those you love ...

Prayer breaks through the box that we give it, and the words that we set it to. Prayer reaches into the depths of our hearts and is brought forth. It is soaked in emotion, in the inexpressable moments of our lives. It takes what we fail to and lifts it towards God ... even when we say nothing at all. Prayer is the Hand of God, reaching out and grasping ours, saying "I have the love you've been looking for and it is yours". Prayer is messy. Prayer is real. Prayer is love.
Prayer is.