Looking Back

It’s been a long time since I've posted – here or on my other blog. I've decided since we are celebrating Jesus’ resurrection, I would bring my blog back to life. Just kidding! I've actually decided to start blogging again in preparation for my year of service. I’m hoping to use this blog to keep in touch with you all.

To begin, I’d like to share my Easter reflections and thoughts.

One year ago, I was standing in Italy celebrating Easter at the Vatican. It’s hard to believe that that was only 365 days ago, so much has happened. I remember standing in line, early in the morning, anxiously waiting to run into the piazza to get a seat close enough to see Pope Benedict. In the last year, Pope Benedict did the unexpected and resigned. We waited excitedly for the announcement of a new Holy Father.  When the white smoke went up, my classmates and I huddled around the computer to watch as Pope Francis, the Pope of firsts emerged on the balcony. It was a joyful moment in the Church. For me, it was a historic year.

I remember standing and praying with the faithful of the Church at the Vatican, overcome by the Tradition that is our Church. It was a very powerful moment for me. It was during those celebrations of the Church that I reaffirmed my commitment as a Catholic. It was there that I saw the truth of the Body of Christ, in all different nationalities and languages surrounding me. I felt at home in a place that was over 4700 miles away from my family. It was Church in all of its beauty and ritual. In the past year, I've traveled to El Salvador twice and seen the other side of faith. Throughout this year, I've met people who have nothing, people who have lost those they love, people who are confused and feel abandoned by the Church. Hearing their stories and learning their pain challenged my faith in the Church. It called me to challenge teachings of the Church and find my own standing. While I don’t have the answers, it started a journey of growing into my faith.  For all of these reasons, it has been a challenging year.

I remember going to Confession with a priest on Ash Wednesday and he encouraged me to make Lent a time to find God in my life again. He said that I sounded lost and confused, and that I needed to center myself on Christ. I remember standing in Assisi overlooking the valley as the sun rose promising myself that I was going to move forward; I was going to become a better Christian. I wanted to use my final year at UD to figure out who God was calling me to be and have my life all figured out. Over the past year, I've questioned a lot. I've prayed in new ways and tried to find an authentic relationship with God. On the way, I became more authentic with myself. With the help of some extremely important and wonderful people, I found out a lot about myself. Part of this discovery can be attributed to those wonderful people in my life being bluntly honest with me, part of it from the challenges of traveling, and part of it from lots of reflection. It hasn't been easy, but in the end it’s been the beautiful start to a lifelong process. As for figuring my life out, I changed my major, completely refigured my plan for after graduation and have no idea what I’m doing for the rest of my life. The fact that this doesn't scare me (quite as much) like it did before shows me that there has been growth. It has been a year of discovery.

In my reflection, I've seen how epic this past year has been. I can’t even believe that the person I am now is the same person who got on a plane and went to Italy for four months. While I celebrated Easter this year, I celebrated two resurrections. That of Christ- the Resurrection that conquered death , and the resurrection of self – the true me rising from the busy and crazy of life that I momentarily got caught up in. It’s hard to believe that in just a few weeks, I’ll be graduating from college and moving forward in life. But the challenges and growth over the last year have shown me that I will be able to survive in the “real world”. While I don’t know exactly what the world holds for me, I do know that where I will be for at least a year. I will be spending a year in Costa Rica with a year-long service program called FrancisCorps. Along with a few other young adults, I will be serving the poor in Alajuela as I continue to grow figure out who I am.  It is sure to be another year of epic adventures and I hope you will continue following me here!

Peace and Blessings to you all!

**Shameless plug – if you’ve made it this far into the post and are interested in helping support my service work in Costa Rica, you can visit my page at the following website address OR send me a comment on here and we can work something out!! Thank you**

https://www.youcaring.com/mission-trip-fundraiser/fundraiser-for-franciscorps/51015